FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize