Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
