I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
