No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
