so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
