alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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