Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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