4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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