I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
