My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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