her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I supernannyed him into submission
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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