take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I want a musical about memes.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
