Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
