those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
