Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
