i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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