guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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