I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
