please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
