Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize