i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
