I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
