Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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