yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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