I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
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