hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
