I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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