took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
