3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just gift wrapped bread.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
