So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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