so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
being pregnant is like rehab
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo