So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
