DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter