My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
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Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol