you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I touched a dick in church today
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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