Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux