More tranny stories later!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
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no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
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She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.