im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
