Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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