Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize