I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
