Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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