U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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