He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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