That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
