I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
