It's like God shit irony all over that family
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
third nipple confirmed
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.