the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
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if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
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I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???