well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
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I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
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Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?