toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..