Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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