What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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