Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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