The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just high enough for therapy.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Ladies don't puke and tell
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
