You can't special order awesome
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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