I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
