Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
