Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize