You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
