Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
