If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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