Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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