I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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