Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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