i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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