Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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