**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
