my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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